Not Quite Unbeatable
by roadkillAB
Summary: A simple Avengers/Guardians meeting is greatly interrupted by . . . Squirrel Girl. (I know, I don't like her either.)


**Not Quite Unbeatable** Rocket followed his team through the steel door to Avenger's Tower. The last place he wanted to be but the Guardians of the Galaxy had been on Terra for several days now. He had gotten sick of it the moment he stepped onto it's surface. The longer Rocket spent on it, the more sick of it he became. "I don't like them anymore than you do, believe it or not." stated Peter Quill, Rocket's leader/teammate.

Rocket gave no reply. Descending down five floors the team of warriors came across a room with half-a-dozen security measures. (Not because the Avengers needed protection, but indefinitely to protect whatever words might be exchanged in that room that a spy could use against them.) And there sat the Avengers. Proud and soldiered. "Hey, Cap." said Quill.

Steve "Captain America" Rogers nodded in acknowledgment. There was a moment where no one said anything. Then, the tension was broken by. . .well, Rocket wasn't exactly sure what she was. The door flung open and a girl of about eighteen with a bushy brown tail (it wasn't bushy like Rocket's tail but it looked more like a dark cloud.), short mousy brown hair and a headband with small brown ears glued to it stood there. "HELLO AVENGERS!" she exclaimed, startling everyone there to Morag and back.

"Squirrel Girl, now _really_ isn't a good time. . ." Rogers informed the Terran, obviously embarrassed.

"He got that right, Kid." muttered Rocket. He wouldn't have been more surprised if Ronan had popped into existence in that very room. "Oh. My. Gosh. You're the Guardians of the flarking Galaxy!" Squirrel Girl's wide brown eyes shined with admiration.

"Um, do I know you?" Quill asked. "No you don't! Of course you don't." she laughed then added more seriously, "Do you want to though?"

"I'm not sure yet." Quill looked her up and down unsurely.

"I'm the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl!" it seemed to Rocket that she got louder every time she opened her bucktoothed mouth, but he thought about these words and was a little offended. "Unbeatable?" he questioned.

"Yes! No one can beat me. I beat up Thanos!"

This time she had every one's attention. Gamora and Quill balked in disbelief. " _Thanos?_ Like _The_ Thanos?" Gamora inquired, gaping.

"Do you know another Thanos?" Squirrel Girl said slyly.

Quill and Gamora exchanged glances. Rocket, however wasn't as impressed. "No one's _unbeatable._ (except maybe my team) It's impossible! Besides, I don't even believe you _did_ win against Thanos. For the record, that's impossible too."

"This one is just adorable. That's why I'm not gonna beat you up right away for saying that awful stuff but, you have to take it back." she insisted.

"Yeah, _you're_ gonna beat me up?" tempers between the two of them began to rise and Rocket reached for his gun. Quill put his hand on the barrel. "Don't even think about it." Rocket's leader warned.

"Okay, I don't even need a gun to win against you, Punk." Rocket stepped toward the glaring she-Terran. There were several squirrels surrounding her and he picked one of the small chattering creatures by the tail.

"Put. The squirrel. Down. NOW!" Squirrel Girl's brown eyes were furious and her clawed hands were balled into fists.

"Oh, I intend to." he retorted.

"Not like that!" she shrieked.

Rocket stared into the beady eyes of the animal in his paw. _Am I really gonna do this?,_ he asked himself seeing it squirm and wriggle frantically, black eyes shining. "Oh, whatever." with that he bit off the squirrel's head, chewed it for a moment, then promptly swallowed it.

He looked around the room to see twelve shocked (to be truthful shocked might not have been a strong enough word to describe the reaction of the bystanders to this conflict.) superheroes. Squirrel Girl had become catatonic. She was shaking and she couldn't speak let alone move to try and stop Rocket from continuing. Which he did as he took another bite. "Hey, it's actually not bad."

"I need to go unsee that. That's. . .that's disgusting." inferred Quill, completely dismayed.

"You _do_ realize that squirrels are in the rodent family, right?" Gamora questioned.

"And I've told you before, there's only one of me!" the procyonid insisted. "I've told you that's wrong but you don't listen to me!" Quill paused before adding, "Ever."

Rocket finished off the squirrel (which to be truthful, actually did taste quite good.) and then looked at the Squirrel Girl. "H-how could y-y-you do th-that?" she stammered, barely getting the words out. "I just watched a raccoon. . . _eat_ one of Tippy-toe's cousins!" she was almost in tears for it.

"I'm sure you won't miss him. He was noisy anyway. Besides, you have so many here, if you hadn't seen me do it you probably wouldn't have even noticed one was gone." said Rocket.

" _You made Tippy-toe faint_!" the girl wailed.

Rocket looked down on the floor and saw a smaller squirrel with a bow on it's head lying flat on it's back with it's tiny limbs limp at it's sides- completely unconscious. "Tippy-toe?" he gave her a long, flat look.

"Yes! It's sweet. Something you'll never be you monster!" Squirrel Girl sniffed. "I said you were cute too!"

"So, on today's Avenger's meeting we have succeeded in creating an awkward moment, grossing out four of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and making a young girl cry. This is going to look bad on the report." Rocket heard Stark mutter to Rogers.

Romanoff, Barton, and Thor had all stayed speechless during this until this moment when Barton spoke up, "This has to be _the_ strangest battle I have ever seen in my entire life." His teammates (and Rocket's teammates for that matter) all seemed to agree.

 **The End**


End file.
